Haunted by Her (Bataille)

I started the process of trying to move on from her, but as I lay awake deep into the night I cannot forget memories, words, looks, smiles, glances, gazes, locked eyes, giggles, blushes, her comforting laughter, fragments, recordings; I want to forget her!

As I lay awake at night, Bataille haunts me. His words haunt me.

The choice of object always depends on the personal taste of the subject; even if it lights upon a woman whom most men would chose, the decisive factor is often an intangible aspect of this woman, not an objective quality; possibly nothing about her would force our choice if she did not somehow touch our inner being. — Georges Bataille, Eroticism: Death and Sensuality

Her intangibly noumenal draw pulled me in.

Does that mean she touched my inner being? Fuck. Well hopefully she won’t be the last person to.

I wonder when I will stop feeling this anguish. I wonder when I will move on completely. I wonder when I will stop hoping that she will come back. I miss the cries, the laughs, the time with her, those weighted (with tension) glances of escasty.

I miss her comforting voice especially because of what is happening today (I’m very nervous; I can’t sleep).

She put my being into a mode of continuity. Discontinous existence (ontology) broke down in just a kiss.

What does it mean to have loved someone so much that you would (/did) die for them and then have them leave.

The Object of Desire

The final aim of eroticism is fusion, all barriers gone, but its first stirrings are characterized by the presence of a desirable object. — Georges Bataille, Eroticism: Death and Sensuality

Firstly, Bataille is saying all of this from the position of himself (the male subject). So, I must note that Bataille is not being sexist. This is very clear when we actually read Eroticism.

Theoretically a man may be just as much the object of a woman’s desire as a woman is of a man’s desire. — Georges Bataille, Eroticism: Death and Sensuality

Now, I’m sure that if the subject positions are changed the logic still applies e.g., if we start from the subject position of the lesbian woman then the object of desire would be a woman.

The Will (to Chance)

The Schopenhaurian schema of the Will is a schema of scarce struggle for momentary satisfaction and a predominance of suffering. What drives this will seems to be behind it, something lifting it into erection.

In a world where all is unstable, and nought can endure, but is swept onwards at once in the hurrying whirlpool of change; where a man, if he is to keep erect at all, must always be advancing and moving, like an acrobat on a rope — in such a world, happiness is inconceivable. — Arthur Schopenhauer, Studies in Pessimism

What else but libido?

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How sweet terror is, not a single line, or a ray of morning sunlight fails to contain the sweetness of anguish. - Georges Bataille

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How sweet terror is, not a single line, or a ray of morning sunlight fails to contain the sweetness of anguish. - Georges Bataille

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