I can’t do this anymore. It is time to let go. It is time to move on.

I can’t really do this anymore. I already think about her all time. I want to move on. I’m trying to move on. I take walks in that one park in which I walked with her. I skip rocks across the river we looked at. I sit on the bench on which we kissed. And I cry. I cry a lot. I keep losing weight. Events get fuzzier and fuzzier. I need a break from her, indefinitely or until I somehow get closure, or some other event takes place (I do not know what the future will hold other than capitalism will collapse in the coming decades (maybe 2060. Whenever the rate of profit reaches a critical point) to centuries (obviously)). But closure is an odd thing. Like it is a really odd thing. Sometimes the best closure is no closure at all, which I am used to. I won’t write all of the articles I planned to, nor will I publish those which I already had “done” (critique of capitalist realism), I will give a brief rundown but that is about all.

A lot of songs were ruined in 2020 and I mean A LOT. Arctic Monkeys’ songs (e.g., Do I Wanna Know) are nothing but permanently scorched and corroded by thoughts of her. Songs that I sang to her (e.g., What You Won’t Do for Love, Line without a Hook, Love like You, and others) I can’t listen to without crying. So, I will just let those songs burn in the corroding acid wash like all the other things ruined.

I will be doing a page by page critique of Mark Fisher’s book Capitalist Realism (this entails delinking the connection between capitalism and mental health)

Fisher’s entire first chapter is predicated on this idea of capitalist realism, as is the entirety of the book. The issue I have with the concept of capitalist realism is that this isn’t a discovery, it is nothing but a truism for all modes of production. Communism is a specter that haunts this mode of production just like capitalism was a specter that haunted feudalism. The truth is simple: time will go on, the internal contradictions of the capitalist mode of production will cause capitalism to snap, and either A.) the singularity will come and transhuman machines “on the side of” (time has taken the side of capitalism according to Land) (techno-)capitalism will outpace humanity proper, or B.) the revolution will come and humanity will progress to the next mode of production (socialism) and then to the next (communism), and from there, who knows what will happen, maybe a Nietzschean post-humanism takes hold and we go past communism (though the latter speculation is not Bataille’s analysis (so don’t say I’m doing a misreading), I suggest reading Bataille’s analysis of communism and Nietzsche in the Third Volume of the Accursed Share).

As for Fisher on mental health, I think he has a rather poor reading of Deleuze and Guattari which is his contingency (?) or at least “preface” to his argument that mental illness is in the interior of capitalism, but what do I know (something, nothing, I don’t know. All I know is that knowledge is superfluous)?

My critical and positive opinions on Marx

I think Marx is quite interesting. I have been reading his critique of the Hegelian dialectic and philosophy as a whole in the 1844 manuscripts, it is quite interesting. I would say that Marx is right and wrong about a lot of things (hence why I am a post-Marxist). His analysis of political economy is the greatest to take place (obviously Bataille analyses the general/solar economy), and I recommend watching some videos on it at the very least.

I think Marx is correct about value. I think Marx is correct about the tendency of the rate of profit to fall. I think Marx has a great and unprecedented analysis of the capitalist mode of production. But Marx isn’t perfect. Marx is still within restricted economies (economics, philosophy, sociology, etc.), so we will have to go beyond Marx (hence my post-Marxism).

My critical and positive opinions on Freud

Now, Freud is a special theorist. I wanted to work on a joint project involving Bataille and Freud with her. But dreams don’t come true, everyone (surprise, surprise).

Freud, quite simply, is a (libidinal) energist. Desire is not lack but an energetic flow for Freud. Freud is obviously on the side of Libidinal Materialism but he is also obviously superseded by Bataille.

My critical and positive opinions on Lyotard (Libidinal Period)

Obviously, Lyotard wasn’t an atheist, which is a problem.

Basically, I was going to forward Land’s critique of Lyotard’s attack on atheism and then forge a libidinal atheology.

A Critique of Astrology (essentialism) and Witchcraft (mainly the parts that stem from astrology; I will critique this idea of connection to things such as cards crystals, etc.)

This article was going to be a really easy write.

Firstly, the answer to my latter critique of Stirner is quite simple: Stirner’s radical nominalism.

From there we can reject all essentialism which is attributed to the unique subject. Sun sign astrology is essentialism in that it attributes a specific zodiac sign to a person based upon their birth day’s relation to the position of the sun. This zodiac sign (essence; essential trait) is to determine characteristics of the subject and is to also have some form of explanatory power.

I know that her connection to crystals and from crystals to witchcraft was contingent on sun sign astrology so they all fall too.

Philosophy aside, I think that sun sign astrology and the apps associated with it just put out some random thing about XXX zodiac sign and then the person reading it internalizes it. I’m not going to say it is pseudo-science because science is cringe, so that wouldn’t be a critique. But to all the people that enjoy sun sign astrology, I have no issue with this. Just acknowledge you are internalizing random bullshit and then alienating yourself.

An Essay on Land

I’m sure I’m going to do this in the future.

A Critique of Socialist Humanism and the Idea that Alienation is a Critique of Capitalism

I’m writing this in my critique of Craig’s article on his ethics.

A Critique of McGowan’s Psychoanalytical Critique of Capitalism

Has a Lacanian basis, we can outright reject it there (see: my critique of Lacan in my article, Libidinal Materialism Contra Lacan | Toxic Love).

A Critique of Transcendental Miserbalism

The only critique of capitalism I was told by her was sterile humanism and capitalism makes me sad. This isn’t a critique surprise surprise. I will be specifically refuting this in my response to Craig’s article on his ethics which I am writing.

An Essay on Why Revolution will Work and Is a Good Emancipatory Method

We must view revolution as an absolute end, not a means to an end.

An Essay on Pillows

This is just a reference, nothing more.

There was one thing that was not ruined by her though: Scooby-Doo Mystery Incorporated. It is actually a great show, somehow, or that may just be the nostalgia talking.

Now I was going to do a satirical critique of cows but they are too fucking cute!

How am I supposed to critique this?

I don’t wish things went differently than they did, to be honest. Sure, I will miss her immensely, I will miss my friends as well, but I feel like this happened for a reason, maybe.

Lastly, I want to apologize to her (though she may never read this). I want to say that I am sorry for hurting you. And even though you hurt me too, I forgive you.